Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tum! Tum, tum, tum, TUMMMSSS!

Tum! Tum, tum, tum, TUMMMSSS! That’s the tune that has been playing in my head all day every day. Before I eat, while I eat, after I eat, in my sleep. The makings of a pregnancy Dr. Seuss book! We can title it Mommy has Heartburn. By Doctah Gee. Except I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure Dr. Seuss wasn’t either so I think we are all set. Though on the bright side (look at me! I’m all optimistic and shit!), Tums are a fabulous source of calcium! Okay maybe not fabulous, but for someone that hates milk and has to trick herself into drinking it by mixing it with Fruit Loops, (GM cereals actually have a lot of vitamins nowadays so don’t knock me until you read the label) Tums are actually pretty okay. I guess to be specific I am not taking Tums, I am taking Walgreens antacid tablets because honestly who can tell the difference and that yellow price tag that says save $1.00 always gets me. Though checking out went a little like this…
Me: “I’m sorry I don’t have my CVS card on me.” (which was a lie I later found out…oops)
Cashier: “That’s okay because this isn’t CVS...” (she didn’t really make it feel okay though if you know what I mean)
Me: “Oops, sorry I bet that happens a lot” (or at least I hope that happens a lot…)
Cashier: *whatever look*
Me: *fake fumbling in purse* “I don’t have my Walgreen’s card on me either…”
Cashier: “Well, that’s good because we don’t have cards” (again – didn’t really feel like a good thing if you follow me)
Me: “Oh…Okay…Sorry, it’s been a long day” What I wanted to say: w/e (<- hip internet lingo for the common slang whatever) lady I’m flipping pregnant, ob-vi-ous-ly, now give me my flipping tums before I EAT YOU!!!
I really need to stop with the eating people comments or ya’ll are going to think I have a problem. (Yes I know it’s spelled y’all, but I prefer ya’ll so get over it)
On a side note about old internet slang, can someone please explain to people over 40 that YAY! Is spelled Y-A-Y and not Y-E-A-H, or Y-E-A.
Synonyms: Yippie!
Definition: I’m super excited about that.
Sentence: YAY! I win!!! (okay not really a sentence, but whatevs – whatevs: another slang for whatever)
Synonyms: What? Or Yes!
Definition: Nicest way a teenager can say what, response to hearing your name, or an agreement.
Sentence/short story: Mom: “KATHRYN!!!???” Me: “WHATTTT???” Mom: “Don’t say WHHAAATTT!!!” Me: “….” Mom: “KATHRYN???” Me: “Yea? What?” (Story is from the past – I am most definitely not a teenager)
Also: Greg: “Hey, Kari do you want me to pick up some more Tums on my way home from work?” Me: “Yea, thanks so much sweet muffin pie!”
See what I did there? Ended back on Tums! That took SKILL with a K!
I believe this concludes today’s post. Thanks for hanging in there!

No comments:

Post a Comment