5 Weeks and 5 Days!!

Baby is as big as a pineapple! 19-22 inches and about 4.9 pounds! Yay baby! GROW! On a side note, I am also not sure why I ever had such a difficult time spelling pineapple since it is just pine + apple. Oh wells.

Oh, Penis.

Being a new mom is hard. Being a new mom in New Hampshire (especially when you have been raised in the south) is harder. I get it - we are different. It has been incredibly difficult to be ourselves in a place that is clearly one sided. We have honestly been doing our best to be open minded, not only to fit in better, but because on some issues we don’t have a strong enough opinion about to care and we actually do agree with some topics.

We recycle way more than we throw away.
We buy green cleaners.
We use dish towels more than paper towels.
We bought chemical free newborn diapers and ‘natural’ wipes.
We are going to use cloth diapers (after the newborn stage).
We bought glass baby bottles.
We have a Baby Bullet (like the Magic Bullet, but to make your own baby food).
We bite our tongues when our friends talk about politics and global warming.
We use vinegar instead of bleach.
We take short showers.
We turn off the lights when we aren’t home.

We are going to breast feed (well I am).
We sometimes even buy organic food. 

The list goes on, but I do have some confessions to make.

We eat meat.
We sometimes eat at (*gasp) chain restaurants.
We take the SUV to run errands instead of the car just because it’s more comfortable.
We aren’t against epidurals (which in 2011 have NO side effects).
We use our air conditioning in the summer.
We will eat fast food.
We plan to vaccinate.
We shower everyday.
We take medicine when we are sick.
We didn’t vote for Obama.
And worst of all - we want to circumcise. 

Which apparently makes us cruel, inhumane people. How dare we want to subject our infant to this ‘purely cosmetic barbaric’ procedure. How dare us for wanting to prevent infections, the spread of diseases and STDs. I honestly never thought I would have to back my decision up, I didn’t even think it was a decision I really had to make - that this was just what you do. I especially didn’t think I would be caught off guard being lectured by some grungy nurse nazi who asked me specifically so she could preach to me. ‘Well if you lived in Europe you wouldn’t know anyone who was circumcised’ when I said I didn’t know of anyone that wasn’t. ‘Well what if the dad has bright red hair and the baby has black’ when I said the baby should match his father. Really lady? Really??? Not that it matters, but Greg has brown hair and brown eyes and so will this baby. And he will want to be JUST like his daddy like all little boys do. Not to mention it is not a ‘purely cosmetic’ procedure. I guess they haven’t heard of the CDC outside of Atlanta. ‘Clearly I have a strong opinion on this subject’ says nurse nazi. CLEARLY you do. And clearly you should mind your own business and not tell me how to raise MY child. I sound all tough here, but I clammed up in that doctor’s office like a - well, like a freaking clam I guess. I left in tears and completely stressed about the fact that this woman could possibly be the one birthing my child. (And stress is not good for the baby so I have extra resentment for this woman!)

I can’t help but think this really is all my fault, for trying to be open minded and going with the midwife practice v. the doctors. They had a good sell - they spend more time to get to know you at each visit, they stay for the whole birth (and we know some people whose doctors didn’t even make it in time), they are even open to pain management, there are 3 midwives v. 5 doctors, and Greg and I are both so technical we thought it would be good for us. But this ‘natural’ crap that we have been trying so hard to adapt to has just taken one step over the line. There were a few red flags when I walked into the appointment yesterday. First off - The lady introduced herself - I tell her that we’ve met and she proceeds to tell me that it doesn’t count unless she’s met me twice. Okay fine, you see a lot of patients, I get it. She then asks what Greg and I do for a living (again). I think they like to know you are employed and have a decent job - not to mention they have to small talk a little to play up their bedside manner. This is extremely hard for me because not only have I a) already told her all this, b) hate small talk, but c) it is pretty difficult to explain what Greg and I do to most of the population without confusing them, but it shouldn’t be that hard to understand for a ‘medical professional’. I am a Salesforce.com consultant - ‘oh, what do you sell?’. I even managed to not roll my eyes! Props to me! ‘Oh, I haven’t heard of Siemens’. Yes you have, they make MRI machines. ‘Ohhhhhh’. Do you plan to circumcise? ‘Yes’ and it all went down hill from there.

Today I’m going to call the office and see if it isn’t too late to switch to the doctors. I am sorry  friends - all I can say is that I tried my best. I don’t care if I won’t meet all the doctors before it’s time and I might not know who is delivering my child. I don’t care if they aren’t there until the actual birth is happening. I don’t care if they don’t know what I do for a living, haven’t heard of Salesforce.com or Siemens, or know how easy or difficult my pregnancy has been. At least I know they won’t say ‘all of that technical stuff is over my head’ because even if it was, I doubt you’d find a doctor that would admit that. All I really care about when I am giving birth is that Greg is in the room and anyone else that is there isn’t judging me. Not to be a wench, but it is either Team Kari or Team Get the Eff Out of MY Room. I want this birth to be happy and stress free. And if I choose that I am sick of being in pain and I want an epidural, then I’m going to get one. And if you disagree with my decision then that’s fine, but please keep it to yourself. No two women are the same, their pain is not the same, their babies are not the same, and their stress levels are definitely not the same. And I’m done justifying my decisions.

Now I’m going to go relax and watch one of my FAVORITE videos of all time and I suggest you do the same. If you are short on time just scroll ahead to a little after the 3 minute mark...

YAY for Puppies and Ice Cream!!!

Big Bear and Lil' Bear

Only I'm not so sure which one is which...

Here is our Bear and Liam's Bear that we received at the baby shower last weekend bonding in the nursery. A wonderful gift from my cousin's girlfriend Meagan. I wonder what made her think of us when she saw this... ;)
Bear was a little scared of this new creature at first. He would sort of back away and then come up and poke it with his nose and back away again. Greg eventually just plopped it on him and he sat all still like what in the world did you put on my back I'm afraid to move now. Or maybe more along the lines of if I don’t move will I get a treat? I guess he has some practice from me putting things like sunglasses on him and making him pose for pictures. Which is probably a good thing, since he is now no longer scared of Bear II.
One of the best moments from the baby shower was watching this 10 month old pet Bear (the breathing one) and as he did he would let out this big giant belly laugh. The kind of laugh that just makes everyone around smile from the inside. Well Bear just sat there with his usual expression - ‘dum di dum dum dum- hey, is anyone going to give me food?’ At one point the baby even reached out and grabbed Bear’s tongue. Which I must agree, his tongue looks like an awesome thing to grab when it’s hanging out and flopping all around. Bear was completely unfazed, but again there was a food table that required all of the concentration he had if he was going to teleport any of it to his spot.
I am going to say that Bear officially passed the toddler test! We think he’ll do great with little Liam!

7 Weeks To GO!!!

Baby is as big as a Honeydew this week! That is 19in, 4.5 lbs!!! That's a big babe! Starting to run out of room - I'm still wondering where the rest of him is going to go.

I am exhausted from a surprise shower and visit from my mom, but we now officially have almost everything ready for baby. It was such a great weekend! I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for their generosity.

Craigslist Glider!!

I am still bursting with excitement that I found this gem on Craigslist this week. I had been seriously stressing about our final big purchase of a glider that everyone says you need to have. And by everyone I mean my mom, but she's pretty convincing! After the easy decision that we were not going to dish out over $1,000 on a freaking rocking chair just because it matched our furniture, I started looking at all the cheap ones online. I was getting a little sad inside knowing that if I got a white glider it wouldn't really match because we all know pottery barn white is not really white at all... Not to mention the "cheap" ones were still pretty dang expensive at $250-$500 and some got some pretty crappy reviews. Creaking, breaking, etc... So I was all like whatever I'll just check on Craigslist to see if there is anything there. It just so happened that just the day I checked someone had just posted this beauty for $175!! I anxiously awaited the response to my 'is this still available email' and sure enough I won!! (That's how I refer to it at least). I had to drive about 5 hours round trip and didn't get home until after 11:30, but it was so worth every minute! (and every penny of gas...)

Not to mention the couple was so cute. The lady was like this is my first Craigslist sale - she was almost as excited as I was! I am so going to give back to my good Craigslist karma by listing this baby in a few years for someone else to enjoy. Heck, I bet I'll make all my monies back. 

Look What I Made!!!

I am really excited about this! Here is my first elephant painting for the baby room. I decided to paint them on 24" x 30" canvases instead of directly on the wall due to my history of moving furniture around. Now I can keep them forevers - or maybe even sell them one day. Okay, okay give them away, but at least they can get lots of enjoyment. Not to mention it was a lot easier than painting on the wall and I could sit! ;) Which is very important these days. I absolutely cannot wait to hang this up! Yay!! 8 weeks and 5 days to baby time! It's coming up so fast, but I think the nesting thing has kicked in again giving me some much needed energy. Though all I want to do is paint, vacuum, do laundry, and admire all my cute baby things when what I really need to be doing is writing salesforce code. yuck. Or sleeping. But how can one sleep when there are adorable elephants to be made?

9 Weeks To Go!

Baby is as big as a head of lettuce this week.  That is supposedly 18 inches and 3.2 lbs!!!

2 Dogs?!? Are You Effing Kidding Me??!!??

In short. Yes. It has been a while since I have last written because I have been a bit distracted by all that is going on. We were on vacation in Seattle and our poor puppy Annabelle (who mainly went by Puhpeh!) passed away due to complications from corn cob ingestion while she was at day care. Greg and I have been extremely sad, but trying to focus on happy baby things such as my upcoming shower and moving the crib from wall to wall to determine where it will look best. It is much too late to get a new puppy - get her potty trained and deal with all the constant supervision they need plus an infant. And I know I will be too busy and excited with the new baby to even think about wanting a puppy in a few months, but I kinda still do. I miss my little pup lots. Maybe daddy will get Liam a pup for his first birthday. Especially if I still have baby weight to loose since I know I'll get double the workout chasing a toddler and a pup around the house 24/7. Regardless of when or if we ever do get another pup, we will always miss and remember our dear sweet little Annabelle. She had a great little life and was very well loved! Especially by her big brother Colbert!

Baby Clothes are NOT Gay!!!

So I can't ever become famous or I will have to apologize for using the word gay in this way - publicly - on the internet for life. But just for the record I am not the one that said it... And yes, this little outfit is rainbow colored and fruity, but it's also A-FREAKING-DORABLE!!! And I love it sooo much! When I am having a bad day or even getting a little freaked about the whole concept of a B-A-B-Y, I like to go peek in the closet at some of the adorable little outfits I have gotten (myself). How can anything that can wear something this cute be anything but perfect??? Besides all baby clothes are a little queer because they are for babies - little itty bitty tiny cute babies. I am sorry dear husband that our baby's clothes are not manly enough for you, but I promise not to paint his nails like Whit's friend did to her little boy. (And by Whit's friend I am obviously referring to the woman in the j. crew catalog - I just have a feeling that they are all her friends, even if they don't know it...)
Though that promise only counts if you are in the same area code.

Just kidding...

kind of...

Tum! Tum, tum, tum, TUMMMSSS!

Tum! Tum, tum, tum, TUMMMSSS! That’s the tune that has been playing in my head all day every day. Before I eat, while I eat, after I eat, in my sleep. The makings of a pregnancy Dr. Seuss book! We can title it Mommy has Heartburn. By Doctah Gee. Except I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure Dr. Seuss wasn’t either so I think we are all set. Though on the bright side (look at me! I’m all optimistic and shit!), Tums are a fabulous source of calcium! Okay maybe not fabulous, but for someone that hates milk and has to trick herself into drinking it by mixing it with Fruit Loops, (GM cereals actually have a lot of vitamins nowadays so don’t knock me until you read the label) Tums are actually pretty okay. I guess to be specific I am not taking Tums, I am taking Walgreens antacid tablets because honestly who can tell the difference and that yellow price tag that says save $1.00 always gets me. Though checking out went a little like this…

 
Me: “I’m sorry I don’t have my CVS card on me.” (which was a lie I later found out…oops)
Cashier: “That’s okay because this isn’t CVS...” (she didn’t really make it feel okay though if you know what I mean)
Me: “Oops, sorry I bet that happens a lot” (or at least I hope that happens a lot…)
Cashier: *whatever look*
Me: *fake fumbling in purse* “I don’t have my Walgreen’s card on me either…”
Cashier: “Well, that’s good because we don’t have cards” (again – didn’t really feel like a good thing if you follow me)
Me: “Oh…Okay…Sorry, it’s been a long day” What I wanted to say: w/e (<- hip internet lingo for the common slang whatever) lady I’m flipping pregnant, ob-vi-ous-ly, now give me my flipping tums before I EAT YOU!!!
I really need to stop with the eating people comments or ya’ll are going to think I have a problem. (Yes I know it’s spelled y’all, but I prefer ya’ll so get over it)

 
On a side note about old internet slang, can someone please explain to people over 40 that YAY! Is spelled Y-A-Y and not Y-E-A-H, or Y-E-A.
YAY!
Synonyms: Yippie!
Definition: I’m super excited about that.
Sentence: YAY! I win!!! (okay not really a sentence, but whatevs – whatevs: another slang for whatever)
Yea
Synonyms: What? Or Yes!
Definition: Nicest way a teenager can say what, response to hearing your name, or an agreement.
Sentence/short story: Mom: “KATHRYN!!!???” Me: “WHATTTT???” Mom: “Don’t say WHHAAATTT!!!” Me: “….” Mom: “KATHRYN???” Me: “Yea? What?” (Story is from the past – I am most definitely not a teenager)
Also: Greg: “Hey, Kari do you want me to pick up some more Tums on my way home from work?” Me: “Yea, thanks so much sweet muffin pie!”
See what I did there? Ended back on Tums! That took SKILL with a K!
I believe this concludes today’s post. Thanks for hanging in there!

My Fat Fingers!

Okay so they are not even noticeably fat - at least not to you anyways. To me, my once long lean fingers are slowly turning into paws or ‘Greg hands’ as I am now referring to them inside my head. Not that I have inner dialogues about my hands with myself all that often, but seriously, pregnancy changes
e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...

While I can deal with my stubby greggy like fingers, this week marked a turning point as I can no longer comfortably wear my wedding rings. I know some people take their rings off every night, but I wore mine all the time and these past few days without them have been a bit traumatic. After I took them off during the day at work, I knew it was time to give them a permanent location at home for the next few months.

It’s not just the nakedness I feel when I reach down to twirl and admire my beautiful rings or even the general sense that something is missing - it’s also the fact that I feel just a little insecure looking so pregnant and looking so un-wed at the same time. Not that it even really matters, but I sort of feel like people are going to look at me differently.
Just last week the Marshall’s guy was all: Is this your name on the credit card?
Me: ummm yes.
Him: Just have to check because some mothers give their girls the credit card to spend and they aren’t allowed to do that here.
Me: Umm...my mom lives in Atlanta. (not the most clever response, but I was caught off guard!)
Him: Well, regardless of whether or not the mother still lives at home...
Him: *concerned face*
Great not only does he think that I am 16 and pregnant, but that my mother also abandoned me!! I took my credit card back with my left hand hoping that he might notice the giant rock on my finger and realize his mistake. Hello - I'm old enough to be on my own, I have a husband, clearly, look. Look!!... not likely... 

I am sure one day I will be stoked about the fact that I don't look old enough to have my own credit cards, but at the moment I am not really loving it. And now as my ring finger tan line slowly fades away I will probably be reaching for things with my right hand more often. I am seriously missing my rings... I have even already visited them a few times in their secret hiding place to give them some love and let them know they are still cared for. At least I know they will be safe until birth time and not carelessly abandoned at my desk because I’m having a fatty finger day. 

(We will add this to the exponentially growing list of reasons why I want baby to get here now - right after ‘cute ass baby hats’ of course).

The Petunia Pickle Bottom Dilemma

So I am at PBK (Pottery Barn Kids) to order my crib and changing table and I am looking around the store to see if anything else catches my eye. I have a 10% off moving coupon that I can only use once so I figure I might as well buy some things that I may want and I can always return them later. Yes, of course I know that’s how they get you, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for good deals… So I see this great diaper bag that is way too much monies, but apply the above theory and it’s mine along with a changing pad, changing pad cover, and the letters L, I, and M – A is on backorder until the middle of October. I mean really? How can an A be on backorder??? But the nice lady who also happens to live in Exeter orders it for me online to be shipped to me (for free!) So whatevs. I pack up all of my goodies and scurry home super excited.

The first thing I do when I get home is hang the bag on the stroller and it just doesn’t look quite right. Greg of course is always super supportive and super unhelpful, “It doesn’t have to match the stroller! And it looks great sweetie.” He is also not a big fan of my buying and returning things habit... So flash forward a couple weeks and the changing pad cover no longer matches the bedding set so in I go back to pbk with my cover and diaper bag – just in case I see something I like better. It just so happens that they have a gray one with a small amount of yellow, which would match our stroller perfectly. I, however, immediately loose all decision making skills. I am now equally torn between the two bags. I text Greg a picture of both asking his opinion, but it doesn’t go through, besides, we already know what he will say… Something along the lines of – silly wife, just pick one! Or you aren’t going to go with what I pick anyways, so why should I pick. The later is his favorite when we are out. And while it may be true it’s not that I don’t trust his opinion, but it’s that sometimes I need someone to pick something else so I can realize which one I really wanted.

Anyways back to pbk, I then text Sis n’ Law Jenny. Who is much better at decision making then I am. Please note the checkout lady was no help at all - she was all ooo I love the lime green. She goes on about something and then it seems like she is talking me out of owning either diaper bag – something about how she had a nice one, but just used the one from the hospital – can’t understand why they are so expensive, blah, blah- so I just start to ignore her. Clearly, she just doesn’t get it – I don’t care how many kids she has on me. I mean I already have it narrowed my search down to two, I really can’t start over at this point…So I “decide” to just buy the gray one without returning the green one and told them I am going to take them home to my husband so he can decide. Not true. I am going to go home and agonize over another silly decision. I walk out the store and get the text response from Jenny, “The one on the right! My coworker said the one of the left is gay. :)” I look at them again and she’s so right! The daisies are actually really annoying me now. And I think my subconcious knew I wanted the gray one because I couldn’t give it up when the sales lady picked lime green for me. So thank you, Jenny’s coworker. I marched back in to the store and returned the green one. I don’t really care if they all think (/know) that I’m crazy, but can you imagine Greg’s face if I had gotten home with TWO (not cheap) diaper bags??!! Anyways – I am loving my new bag!!! Can’t wait to hang it on the stroller and power walk the town in style!!!

IT'S A BOY!!!

It’s a boy! Okay so we actually found out over a month ago - on June 2^nd to be precise (I only remember because I just got the bill), but you are just now finding out because now it’s actually going on this blog. Though James and myself (the only two people reading/writing this respectively) are already privy to this information.

One of life’s most asked questions - To be or not to be? Or in this case to determine the gender or not to determine the gender? Boy or girl? Unfortunately, these questions along with many cannot be answered with a simple 42. Oh wells, life will go on. Quite literally! Because there is a little life in me! Get it? Get it!!?? Okay then, moving right along. Greg – the baby daddy – also known as husband – or in the baby blogging community something called DH. I am pretty sure DH stands for ‘darling husband’, but I may have just made that one up. Sort of like how when you control V – I mean clearly the V stands for Velcro, but somehow not everyone is in on this little fact. Seriously though, is there some sort of cheat sheet for all the stupid acronyms out there? I have been known to gaze over a few horrifying birth stories or ‘am I gaining too much weight’ posts on the bump.com or other baby sites, but I tend to stop reading because I just don’t understand who is doing what to whom or when. It just isn’t worth my time. And I’m not some crazy mom (which isn’t so weird to say because we have doggies – the mom part that is) that is new to the internet, I still consider myself hip when it comes to internet lingo. (Does that mean I’m old if I just called myself hip? You don’t have to answer that – I’m not old, you can take my word). I mean I know how to lol and that wtf clearly doesn’t mean welcome to facebook, dad. No, not my dad – someone else’s dad thought that. My dad is not and never will be on fb, at least not unless my mom gets bored and makes an account for him. Though that sounds like something I would do. Hmm… good idea me. Hey Dad! WTF!!! You’re on FB now!!! (read that a few times – it works both ways!)
 

Okay so I guess I completely missed the point – this is supposed to be about finding out the baby’s gender. Anyways DH or BD - baby daddy as I like to call him – see what I just did there? I actually told you what my dumb acronym stood for so you can follow along my story without getting annoyed – at least not by the acronyms… So BD did not care either way if we found out the sex. I think he slightly wanted to be surprised which is fine, but I told him I would know and probably everyone else would know (I can’t keep secrets) so he might as well find out too. Me on the other hand, I HAD to know. Like yesterday. Like before the little pee stick turned blue – which is just an expression because there were actually two pink lines, but you get me. I don’t even like not knowing what I am going to have for dinner – so knowing whether or not I’m sprouting a little penis inside me was a must. And NO that does not mean I’m planning on eating my baby – or the placenta – ewwwwwwww! We will leave that up to the dingos. Okay, bad joke, but my baby will never be around dingos so I don’t think I need to knock on wood. Though, he will be around our massive dog Bear so maybe a little knock just in case. You knock too, okay James? Did you knock? Okay good.

So long story short it’s a BOY!

(Hopefully there will be another post after this – I’ll need your support to keep me motivated)

For James Chen!

Okay so one of my dearest online buddies actually created this blog for me so I could update on my journey to adding the newest Geihsler addition to our family. After months of a blank blog and constant harassment from James here is my first post! Stewie Squared gets his nickname from my Brother and Sis ‘n Law’s first baby Zoe… They wanted to be surprised on delivery day, but needed something to call her before she was born so they nicknamed her Stewie, while she was ‘stewing’. hehehe. Anyways, Stewie Squared is derived from that - though it’s clearly not the derivative ;) - But when my other Sis n’ Law Jenny finally gets knocked up hers will be Stewie cubed! Though I’m thinking Zoe’s big brother or sister will actually be Stewie cubed, but we can figure that out later.